Went out on a date with a Jockey who said he was 6'2"...he was 5'3" at the most and walked like he still had the horse between his legs. He went on to say that he would make a REALLY good Dad and spent the whole night discussing his relationship with his dog and how they snuggle and spoon every night.
I thought he was a nice guy and wanted to hang out. But, when we got together he was begging for a BJ. Then he offered me 100€ for a handjob- I got angry and denied. Then he said that a friend was calling his cell. I turned my back and started to call a friend of mine. When I turned back in his direction I saw that he drove away. WTF
On our first date she was arrested for stealing from her ex-boyfriend. Then she asked me to bail her out.
My co-worker kept trying set me up with her brother's wife's brother. He was 42 (I was 24) and had four kids by three different women. Also he had full or partial custody of all four kids... he wasn't really interested in a relationship as much as someone who would be a free babysitter because he hated having to take care of them.
I went on a date for the first time in 4 years. I accidentally sneezed while eating the spaghetti and a saucy noodle shot half way out of my nose while the other half remained in my throat and causing me to gag loudly. Everyone at the surrounding tables laughed except for my date.
Got invited to a party recently - turns out the hostess was trying to play matchmaker and hook me up with her friend - an overweight, toothless, mother of 3 who's obsessed with Twilight. Excused myself to the bathroom and escaped through the window (2nd floor no less). Ignored a bunch of angry messages thereafter.
I went out with a very attractive guy who is a personal trainer, so I knew he was into fitness. What I didn't expect was for him to tell me how many calories and grams of fat were in everything I ordered at dinner. After I took EVERY bite he told me how many push-ups or squats I would need to do to burn it off. No wonder he's still single.
Went on a movie date with this girl. She smoked cigarettes in my car, spilled her soda in my car-- I had bought this car less than a week before. After all this, holding my anger, she has the audacity to ask me to pay her f#*%ing probation fee/fine. She now has a warrant out for her arrest.
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