On our first date she was arrested for stealing from her ex-boyfriend. Then she asked me to bail her out.
Got invited to a party recently - turns out the hostess was trying to play matchmaker and hook me up with her friend - an overweight, toothless, mother of 3 who's obsessed with Twilight.
Excused myself to the bathroom and escaped through the window (2nd floor no less). Ignored a bunch of angry messages thereafter.
Went on a movie date with this girl. She smoked cigarettes in my car, spilled her soda in my car-- I had bought this car less than a week before. After all this, holding my anger, she has the audacity to ask me to pay her f#*%ing probation fee/fine. She now has a warrant out for her arrest.
A hotty on Tinder basically agreed to sleep with me if I took her out for what she called a "good time." Naturally, I asked what she meant by good time. She replied by suggesting a romantic evening of wine tasting and good food. I countered by suggesting Charles Shaw and McDonald's. Fail
I'd been dating a guy for a few weeks. One day after having sex, he got a call. As I was waiting for him in the bed, I heard him say to the guy on the phone "I love you, too"! When he came back to the bed he admitted he had a boyfriend and was moving the next day to be with him. Douchebag!
After taking one girl to a nice dinner I went back to her place for a nightcap. While she got out a bottle of wine I asked to use the bathroom. I lifted the lid of the toilet to pee and saw that she had forgotten to flush a huge dump. I didn't mention it, but the mood was killed for me.
Went out with a hot girl I met a party. She described herself as a singer, which I thought was cool. She invited me to hear her perform at a local bar a few nights later so I went with a buddy of mine. When she got up onstage she started to sing a song about my penis and even named it Mr. Rogers. Weird chick.
I dated a girl for some time that I met on an internet dating site. She seemed like an interesting girl, but one night she asked me how much I liked her on a scale from "one to penguin". After doing this scale a few more times with a few different animals, I broke it off.
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