Went out with a hot girl I met a party. She described herself as a singer, which I thought was cool. She invited me to hear her perform at a local bar a few nights later so I went with a buddy of mine. When she got up onstage she started to sing a song about my penis and even named it Mr. Rogers. Weird chick.
On a second date, I invited this guy over at my place because I was too sick to go out to dinner. He knew I wasn't feeling well, but insisted on dropping by. I was so nauseous that I couldn't eat or even look at food. So I popped a frozen pizza into the oven for him, eating nothing myself. His reaction: "Are you really sick or are you just lazy?"
On a 1st date, this guy tried to convince me that eating magic mushrooms was a blast. He then started telling me about how, when he first had tried them, he saw a very long worm with rainbow colors, that changed into the shape of a heart, and how he felt the love pouring out of him. I had to try so hard not to laugh and got out of there asap!
On my first date with a guy he brought me to the Ghost Rider movie and did the yawn/put his arm around me thing.
Realizing I was physically disabled, the first thing my blind date asked was if I could still cook and clean properly. I left without answering.
One of friends asked me to homecoming, which was really sweet since he knew I wanted to go. But he wasn't that sweet after all... he left early without telling me and he was my ride home.
I dated a girl for some time that I met on an internet dating site. She seemed like an interesting girl, but one night she asked me how much I liked her on a scale from "one to penguin". After doing this scale a few more times with a few different animals, I broke it off.
I was on a date with this guy and everything was going great, so we went back to his place. All over his apartment he had knives and a chainsaw lying around. I nervously made a joke about him hopefully not being a serial killer, when he looked me dead in the eye and said: "I won't kill you unless you become a zombie. I'm preparing for the zombies."