After a few weeks of dating one girl she invited me over to her house to hang out. She opened the door and her crazy dog jumped out of the house and pounced on me, biting a hole through my sleeve and taking a chunk of skin off my arm.
My mom's friend from work set me up with her daughter. Things were going fine until I noticed our moms sneaking into a booth in the back of the restaurant. I pretended not to see them, as I didn't want to embarass my date, but they came over to our table during dessert to say how cute we looked together. My date yelled at her mom & stormed off.
I asked a co-worker to recommend a good Japanese place to impress a girl. I don't eat sushi, but I knew she loved it. Dinner went really well- she even invited me back to her place. We hung out, fooled around & wound up falling asleep. I woke up a few hours later to the sound of her puking all over the bed. She got food poisoning from the sushi.
My buddy went to a party, met a girl and brought her back to our place. The next morning I walked into the hallway of our apt. and saw this girl sitting on the toilet, talking on her cell, with the bathroom door wide open. There was a nasty stench coming from the bathroom too. She saw me, waved, and continued on with her conversation.
On our 3rd date I picked a woman up at her house. She had mentioned that her roommate was very strange, but I was not prepared for what would happen when I rang the doorbell. A completely naked chick (overweight by at least 50 lbs) answered the door and hugged me. Then she went back to ironing socks on the kitchen table and dancing to reggae music.
On our 2nd date she told me to meet her on the corner of 86th & 2nd. I thought she had picked a place for dinner near there. When I arrived she took me into an apt. building. I asked her where we were going- she just said "To dinner." We got to the door of an apt. and she rang the bell. It turned out to be her parents' place. 2nd date!
Once I hooked up with this girl at a party. She stops right in the middle & says, "You know I'm married, right?" That was news to me-- no wedding ring, no husband with her, & definitely no mention of being married AT ALL. When I said all of that she started crying hysterically & ranting about how I took advantage of her. What a psycho.
I went out with a girl who told me that I had bad energy. Then she took out a pouch filled with incense, crystals, and all this weird crap to "purify my spirit."
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