I went out with a girl and we really hit it off. I planned a second date and I was pumped to see her again. But the day before the date she texted me in all caps cursing me out and saying that she saw me and my wife (she saw wedding rings) kissing at the movies. It was actually my twin brother.
I had a crush on a hot girl from work, so I asked if she wanted to go to the beach with me. When we got there she took off her dress- she was wearing a really small bikini underneath. Her body was just as hot as I imagined, but between her boobs was a patch of curly, black hair. I was so freaked out that I can't even look her in the eye at work.
I was hooking up with one girl when she tried to bite my neck. She claimed that she was a vampire and needed to feed. I threw her off me and got the hell out of there.
I had a girl tell me that I seemed like a great guy, but I reminded her of Edward Norton. And since she hated his character in some movie that she couldn't even remember the name of, it would never work out between us.
This guy took me salsa dancing, which I have no idea how to do. I kept stepping on his feet, but I finally got the hang of it. Towards the end of the night I was feeling pretty confident, so I tried a little move with my arm that the woman next to me was doing. I wound up elbowing my date in the face and he got a bloody nose! I was mortified.
It was our second date. We went to the beach, dined out and just chilled out. He was sweet. At the end of the day he gave me a ride home. Before I got out of his car, he told me he's married and has a family, but he's not happy with his wife. Then he asked me, "Can you show me your tits?" I never saw him again.
I was out with this guy when we bumped into his boss and his boss's wife at dinner. My date introduced me to them by the wrong name. I was too embarrassed to correct him, so I didn't say anything. The boss insisted that we eat together, so I spent the next two hours being called Melissa by all 3 of them.
I asked a hot girl from my dorm to my frat formal. She said she'd go, so my brothers & I made all the plans (hotel room, tuxes, etc.) When I went to pick her up, a guy opened her door and said, "Can I help you?" Her boyfriend had come to surprise her for the weekend. She insisted on still coming to my formal, so I wouldn't be dateless. He came too.
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