One time I took out this girl who reminded me of Elijah Wood from Lord of the Rings. I shouldn't have said anything. I don't think there is a woman alive who wants to be told that they resemble a male hobbit.
On a first date I asked a girl what she did for a living and she said that she was waiting to be a stay-at-home mom.
I took one girl out to dinner (on me) and towards the end of the meal she asked the waiter to bring her an extra filet mignon wrapped to go.
I was out with a girl the other night and I asked if she liked white wine or red, because I was going to order a bottle with dinner. She said it didn't matter because she wasn't allowed to drink until after the baby was born. I was like WTF?
One girl I went out with told me that she is a vegetarian because she feels that she was an antelope in her past life. No joke.
I met a guy for brunch. He was already seated when I arrived, so the host showed me to our booth. A few rowdy kids sat at the booth behind us & kept on peeking over the back of my date's bench. This went on for about 15 min. before he turned around & yelled at them. Turns out they were his kids! His ex was supposed to watch them, but cancelled.
I took my date to a fancy dinner. When the check came I put down my credit card. A few minutes later the waiter returned with scissors & cut my card in half. I was just about to punch his smug little face when the manager came rushing over. The declined card belonged to the guy at the next table.
I dated a girl for a month. Then she stayed over and I couldn't find my glasses the next day. The next time I went nuts looking for my watch. Then I "lost" my cell phone. One night I insisted we go back to her apt. I found all of my stuff in her underwear drawer while she was in the bathroom. When I confronted her she said I was overreacting.
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