Met with a guy from a dating site who wouldn't give me his last name or number. Said to meet him "3 hrs after sunset" at a "high vantage point" in a park. Against my better judgement, I went, wandered in the park for 45 min before finding a man wearing a mask. He said he thought it would be a more interesting story to tell my friends. Oh, it was.
This guy I had been dating for about a month told me that he was going out of town on business. The next night I saw him walking into a restaurant with his arm around another girl. I was really mad, so I ran over and started yelling at him. It turned out that the girl was his sister and his flight out was leaving the next morning.
I dated a girl for a month. Then she stayed over and I couldn't find my glasses the next day. The next time I went nuts looking for my watch. Then I "lost" my cell phone. One night I insisted we go back to her apt. I found all of my stuff in her underwear drawer while she was in the bathroom. When I confronted her she said I was overreacting.
At the end of one date this guy walked me to my door and stuck his tongue so far down my throat that I puked all over him.
When we got our menus my date told me there were only 3 dishes I could choose from. I asked him why and he said something about wanting a woman who was able to follow orders. I went along with it and never returned his phone calls after that.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a month. We had sex for the first time the other night. Right in the heat of the moment, he looks me in the eye and says "You ready for some d*#k?"
I was out to dinner at a really small, romantic restaurant with a new girl I was dating. We were having a good time until another couple sat down at the table right next to ours. It was my ex and her fiancé, who used to be my best friend.
I have a large birthmark on my cheek. I could tell that my date was fixated on it and he kept staring at it while we were talking. At dinner I took a roll from the bread basket and was just about to eat it when my date said, "Would you like some butter for your mole?" He turned bright red almost instantly from embarrassment.
The Funny Flash Network Funny Flash / Wedding Break-ups / Dating Fails / Proposal Blog / TOS