I dated a girl for a month. Then she stayed over and I couldn't find my glasses the next day. The next time I went nuts looking for my watch. Then I "lost" my cell phone. One night I insisted we go back to her apt. I found all of my stuff in her underwear drawer while she was in the bathroom. When I confronted her she said I was overreacting.
I went out on a date with a guy I have been friends with for 2 weeks. After the dinner and movie he parked in front of a motel. I asked him what he was doing, and he literally said, " I talked to you, listened to you, and took you out on a date. So you're gona f**k me right?"
This guy I had been dating for about a month told me that he was going out of town on business. The next night I saw him walking into a restaurant with his arm around another girl. I was really mad, so I ran over and started yelling at him. It turned out that the girl was his sister and his flight out was leaving the next morning.
At the end of one date this guy walked me to my door and stuck his tongue so far down my throat that I puked all over him.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a month. We had sex for the first time the other night. Right in the heat of the moment, he looks me in the eye and says "You ready for some d*#k?"
One girl I went out with a few times brought her own bottle of ketchup in her purse. On our third -and final- date I asked her why and she looked at me like I was the crazy one!
When I picked up my date she looked at me & made a weird face, like she was disappointed. I asked her what was wrong & she said that my shirt clashed with her outfit. She said to wait on her doorstep while she ran up to change. 25 min. later she came back & said that it would just be easier if we went out and bought me a new shirt before dinner.
When we got our menus my date told me there were only 3 dishes I could choose from. I asked him why and he said something about wanting a woman who was able to follow orders. I went along with it and never returned his phone calls after that.
The Funny Flash Network Funny Flash / Wedding Break-ups / Dating Fails / Proposal Blog / TOS