Recently I went out with a guy that I met through a friend. We had hung out before, but not just the 2 of us. The date was ok, but by the end I wasn't interested in being more than friends. When I got home I checked my Facebook. He had posted every detail of what we did together and wrote that he just went out with the girl he wants to marry.
When I picked up my date she looked at me & made a weird face, like she was disappointed. I asked her what was wrong & she said that my shirt clashed with her outfit. She said to wait on her doorstep while she ran up to change. 25 min. later she came back & said that it would just be easier if we went out and bought me a new shirt before dinner.
When I mentioned that I am vegan my frat-boy date said, "That's cool, but I know you want a taste of my meat." I am still cracking up that people actually say things like that!
I was out to dinner at a really small, romantic restaurant with a new girl I was dating. We were having a good time until another couple sat down at the table right next to ours. It was my ex and her fiancé, who used to be my best friend.
My date fell asleep at the table... on the first date... within 5 minutes of meeting me. I was hungry though, so I stayed and ate my chicken parm before leaving him at the table snoozing on his bread plate.
My date asked the waiter for some crayons and drew extremely graphic pictures on the cocktail napkins. Very disturbing.
When we got our menus my date told me there were only 3 dishes I could choose from. I asked him why and he said something about wanting a woman who was able to follow orders. I went along with it and never returned his phone calls after that.
I woke up in bed next to my date with what I thought was a cold sweat. It turns out that you are never too old to pee the bed. I slept in my date's pee.
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