Recently I went out with a guy that I met through a friend. We had hung out before, but not just the 2 of us. The date was ok, but by the end I wasn't interested in being more than friends. When I got home I checked my Facebook. He had posted every detail of what we did together and wrote that he just went out with the girl he wants to marry.
When I picked up my date she looked at me & made a weird face, like she was disappointed. I asked her what was wrong & she said that my shirt clashed with her outfit. She said to wait on her doorstep while she ran up to change. 25 min. later she came back & said that it would just be easier if we went out and bought me a new shirt before dinner.
I have a large birthmark on my cheek. I could tell that my date was fixated on it and he kept staring at it while we were talking. At dinner I took a roll from the bread basket and was just about to eat it when my date said, "Would you like some butter for your mole?" He turned bright red almost instantly from embarrassment.
I went out with this guy who told me he loved me after 3 dates, and that he wanted kids by 23 (which he would have been in 3 months). I said I didnt know if I wanted kids. He flipped and called me a whore and said that I didnt have a choice if I was with him. I talked him into moving to another state, saying I'd go with him, but I didnt :D
My date asked the waiter for some crayons and drew extremely graphic pictures on the cocktail napkins. Very disturbing.
When I mentioned that I am vegan my frat-boy date said, "That's cool, but I know you want a taste of my meat." I am still cracking up that people actually say things like that!
After moving into my new apartment, I went out to a nearby bar and picked up what I thought was a decent enough girl to christen the new pad. Afterwards I went to take a shower and when I returned, she was gone and there was feces under the sheets.
My date fell asleep at the table... on the first date... within 5 minutes of meeting me. I was hungry though, so I stayed and ate my chicken parm before leaving him at the table snoozing on his bread plate.
The Funny Flash Network Funny Flash / Wedding Break-ups / Dating Fails / Proposal Blog / TOS