Just got back from the world's longest date...7 hours. It went really well but then when he walked me back to my apt. he said, "would it be ok if i stayed over? I'm in town visiting my girlfriend and I go back to LA tomorrow...." UMMM not ok!
At dinner we sat down at a table next to a young family. Halfway through our appetizers the mom started nursing her baby. My date was so busy trying to get a good look at her boobs that he didn't hear a word I said.
After moving into my new apartment, I went out to a nearby bar and picked up what I thought was a decent enough girl to christen the new pad. Afterwards I went to take a shower and when I returned, she was gone and there was feces under the sheets.
Once I hooked up with this girl at a party. She stops right in the middle & says, "You know I'm married, right?" That was news to me-- no wedding ring, no husband with her, & definitely no mention of being married AT ALL. When I said all of that she started crying hysterically & ranting about how I took advantage of her. What a psycho.
Several years back I went on a date with a man who showed up wearing a Santa suit... In the middle of the summer. I made a nasty remark about how I was really not interested in dating any weirdos & turned to leave. He explained that he had just been volunteering at the children's hospital for a Christmas in July party. I felt like such a bitch!
My date tried to introduce me to her guy friends...She thought I was gay.
After a few drinks at the bar my date asked me If I had looked in the mirror before I left the house that night. She mumbled something about my haircut and my jeans. Then she stumbled off to the ladies room. On her way back to our table I saw her flirt with another guy and when she sat back down she asked me why I didn't look more like him.
We met at a coffee house, which is famous for its baked goods. When the waitress came over for our order I asked for a cappucino and a scone. My date looked at her and said "Me want cookies! Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum!" in a cookie monster accent. He was totally serious.
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