I woke up in bed next to my date with what I thought was a cold sweat. It turns out that you are never too old to pee the bed. I slept in my date's pee.
After moving into my new apartment, I went out to a nearby bar and picked up what I thought was a decent enough girl to christen the new pad. Afterwards I went to take a shower and when I returned, she was gone and there was feces under the sheets.
After a few drinks at the bar my date asked me If I had looked in the mirror before I left the house that night. She mumbled something about my haircut and my jeans. Then she stumbled off to the ladies room. On her way back to our table I saw her flirt with another guy and when she sat back down she asked me why I didn't look more like him.
Once I hooked up with this girl at a party. She stops right in the middle & says, "You know I'm married, right?" That was news to me-- no wedding ring, no husband with her, & definitely no mention of being married AT ALL. When I said all of that she started crying hysterically & ranting about how I took advantage of her. What a psycho.
Several years back I went on a date with a man who showed up wearing a Santa suit... In the middle of the summer. I made a nasty remark about how I was really not interested in dating any weirdos & turned to leave. He explained that he had just been volunteering at the children's hospital for a Christmas in July party. I felt like such a bitch!
One guy asked me out & said that he would plan an afternoon in the park, which I thought was sweet. I figured he would set up a nice picnic, some wine, etc. But when I got there he was in running gear & had set up a whole obstacle course with orange traffic cones. He had a stop watch too! He expected me to do time trials in my sundress & sandals!
At the end of dinner on our 1st date, a band of waiters came to our table singing to me with cake. I thought it was a mistake (my b-day was 8 months away), but they knew my name! After the song I blew out the candle so they would go away- I was so embarrassed. When I gave my date a WTF look he said he does it all the time to get a free dessert!
My now ex, took me out for my birthday. When I expressed where I'd want to go (an inexpensive bar/grill place) he said, "That place probably sucks" and took me to one of his favorite restaurants, which wasn't even that good. Finally, at the end of the night I thanked him for my birthday dinner and he said, "Wait it was your birthday?"
The Funny Flash Network Funny Flash / Wedding Break-ups / Dating Fails / Proposal Blog / TOS