After moving into my new apartment, I went out to a nearby bar and picked up what I thought was a decent enough girl to christen the new pad. Afterwards I went to take a shower and when I returned, she was gone and there was feces under the sheets.
Just got back from the world's longest date...7 hours. It went really well but then when he walked me back to my apt. he said, "would it be ok if i stayed over? I'm in town visiting my girlfriend and I go back to LA tomorrow...." UMMM not ok!
At dinner we sat down at a table next to a young family. Halfway through our appetizers the mom started nursing her baby. My date was so busy trying to get a good look at her boobs that he didn't hear a word I said.
Once I hooked up with this girl at a party. She stops right in the middle & says, "You know I'm married, right?" That was news to me-- no wedding ring, no husband with her, & definitely no mention of being married AT ALL. When I said all of that she started crying hysterically & ranting about how I took advantage of her. What a psycho.
After a few drinks at the bar my date asked me If I had looked in the mirror before I left the house that night. She mumbled something about my haircut and my jeans. Then she stumbled off to the ladies room. On her way back to our table I saw her flirt with another guy and when she sat back down she asked me why I didn't look more like him.
Several years back I went on a date with a man who showed up wearing a Santa suit... In the middle of the summer. I made a nasty remark about how I was really not interested in dating any weirdos & turned to leave. He explained that he had just been volunteering at the children's hospital for a Christmas in July party. I felt like such a bitch!
I woke up in bed next to my date with what I thought was a cold sweat. It turns out that you are never too old to pee the bed. I slept in my date's pee.
One guy asked me out & said that he would plan an afternoon in the park, which I thought was sweet. I figured he would set up a nice picnic, some wine, etc. But when I got there he was in running gear & had set up a whole obstacle course with orange traffic cones. He had a stop watch too! He expected me to do time trials in my sundress & sandals!
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