I asked a girl out for a Fri. night and she accepted. All week she kept texting me how excited she was. When I got to the restaurant she wasn't there so I texted her. She said she was on the way and would be there in 5 min... 40 min. later she texted me again saying that she just got back together with her boyfriend and she wasn't coming.
We met at a coffee house, which is famous for its baked goods. When the waitress came over for our order I asked for a cappucino and a scone. My date looked at her and said "Me want cookies! Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum!" in a cookie monster accent. He was totally serious.
I laughed so hard at my date's joke that I peed in my pants- literally.
On our 1st date she mentioned that she liked Swedish Fish candy. Things went well that night (she invited me back to her place). Second date I decided to bring her a pack of Swedish Fish. She seemed really happy to see me when she walked into the restaurant, but when I handed her the candy she told me that I was moving too fast and she left.
A guy I dated for a year broke up with me because I couldn't stand his smoking; weed and tobacco. You try kissing that.
I went out on a date with a guy. We really hit it off. The next day, one of his friends asked me out. I said no, because I had just gone out on a date with his friend. He said, "Oh, I know. We have a bet to see who can sleep with you first."
I took a girl out to a nice dinner and then she said she wanted to go dancing. I wanted to impress her so I took her to a hot club. When we got there the bouncer told us that he didn't have any room inside for more guys but my date was free to go in. She went.
I went out to dinner with a guy I met at work. While we were eating he looked at me and said that I reminded him of his mom. He then pulled a picture of her out of his wallet to show me. I didn't see the resemblance...she outweighed me by at least 200 pounds.
The Funny Flash Network Funny Flash / Wedding Break-ups / Dating Fails / Proposal Blog / TOS