I was out on an awful date with a really weird guy. From under the table I pushed the ringer button on my cell phone and pretended that my friend was calling me with an emergency. I couldn't think of a really great emergency, so I just told him that she fell down and couldn't get up.
I asked a girl out for a Fri. night and she accepted. All week she kept texting me how excited she was. When I got to the restaurant she wasn't there so I texted her. She said she was on the way and would be there in 5 min... 40 min. later she texted me again saying that she just got back together with her boyfriend and she wasn't coming.
On our 1st date she mentioned that she liked Swedish Fish candy. Things went well that night (she invited me back to her place). Second date I decided to bring her a pack of Swedish Fish. She seemed really happy to see me when she walked into the restaurant, but when I handed her the candy she told me that I was moving too fast and she left.
I went out to dinner with a guy I met at work. While we were eating he looked at me and said that I reminded him of his mom. He then pulled a picture of her out of his wallet to show me. I didn't see the resemblance...she outweighed me by at least 200 pounds.
I went over to this girl's place after we went out one night. We started fooling around on the couch and wound up in her bed. When I woke up the next morning my t-shirt had a big wet spot on it and smelled kind of funky. Turns out her cat was pissed that I had taken his place in the bed so he peed on me.
A guy I dated for a year broke up with me because I couldn't stand his smoking; weed and tobacco. You try kissing that.
I laughed so hard at my date's joke that I peed in my pants- literally.
Met a guy at a restaurant where I dined alone, and we hit it off. Went for lunch the next day and then arranged for a supper date the following Tuesday. While waiting until Tuesday I looked him up on facebook and noticed he was married with two kids. Called him and cancelled the date - what a scumbag!
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