I went out with one guy for three months. Then he tells me that he has six kids with four different mamas.
The other night I went out with a guy who sipped his soup with a straw.
I went out with a girl who told me that I had bad energy. Then she took out a pouch filled with incense, crystals, and all this weird crap to "purify my spirit."
On our 3rd date I picked a woman up at her house. She had mentioned that her roommate was very strange, but I was not prepared for what would happen when I rang the doorbell. A completely naked chick (overweight by at least 50 lbs) answered the door and hugged me. Then she went back to ironing socks on the kitchen table and dancing to reggae music.
My best friend's date looked at her and said, "That's a great dress! It really shows off your tits.". Some guys are so classy...
Once I was out to dinner with a girl and I got a horrible stomachache. I excused myself and ran to the restroom. I made it just in time, but I was in there with the runs for at least 20 minutes. Finally, our waiter came into the bathroom calling out my name and asking if I was ok. My date had sent him in there to look for me. Humiliating.
I was on a date with a guy and he took me to a Baskin Robbins. When we got our ice creams and took our seats, he took one bite of his and screamed "HIYA! This is good!" After scarfing down his large ice cream, he asked me if I was going to finish mine.
I had a crush on a hot girl from work, so I asked if she wanted to go to the beach with me. When we got there she took off her dress- she was wearing a really small bikini underneath. Her body was just as hot as I imagined, but between her boobs was a patch of curly, black hair. I was so freaked out that I can't even look her in the eye at work.
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